Sunday, 18 May 2008

Poker Stars Announce Biggest Scandal Yet!


Recent scandals have engulfed almost every corner of the online poker world. First 'super-users' at Absolute Poker and now at Ulimate Bet, then Full Tilt's seemingly endless string of "tomorrow - honest" excuses for payout delays, now the Ongame network have jumped in on the act with some extremely fishy chip-dumping shenanigans.

Melted Felt can exclusively reveal that Poker Stars - the worlds largest online poker site - are not going to put up with being out-scandalled by their (vastly inferior) rivals for one second longer, and are not only planning the biggest poker scandal ever but are adamant that this will be twice as scandalous as anything the rest can even dream of.

A spokesman from Poker Stars gave us an exclusive flavor of the size of the new scandal, "Think Clinton - Lewinsky, the OJ Simpson Trial and the mass buggery of small boys by Catholic priests... that'll get you fairly close to the scandal level we are considering" adding "Nazi-themed spanking sessions with whores have not yet been ruled out - though after the Max Moseley / Formula 1 affair we would like Poker to have its own direction, its own 'scandal identity' if you will", "one thing is for sure though - the Poker Stars scandal will be the biggest ever online, with the most players and huge sums money involved, in fact we are considering special freerolls so that play money players also have a chance to be involved too"

Even though the date of the scandal is being kept a closely guarded secret rumor has it that several thousand Austrians have already locked their female relatives in cellars ready to 'celebrate' the big day....

1 comment:

Ukgatsby said...

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