Thursday, 12 June 2008

David Sklansky To Save US Economy?

In an exclusive interview with Melted Felt, Ben Bernanke - chairmain of the federal reserve - has sensationally revealed that he has been involved in detailed discussions about ditching the US-dollar in favour of an economy based entirely on 'Sklansky Dollars'.

For those not aware, Sklanksky dollars are the amount of cash you would have won if that stupid f*cking fish without a f*cking clue what the f*ck he was doing calling completely against any semblance of rational or mathematical f*cking thought and then hitting that f*cking miracle card on the f*cking river which results in you losing your entire f*cking stack (again)

* as directlt quoted from "The Theory of F*cking Poker" by Mr David Sklanksy

Ben Bernanke went on to explain everything "Instead of losing money on that house you could never afford in the first place, just use Sklanksy dollars to spend the money you would have made had some irrational fish valued it at 500 times your income rather than 400" adding "If you get made redundant due to excessive oil prices slowing things down then the Sklanksy dollars are used to replace your lost pay packet". "Its the same for the banks, who can now use Sklanksy Dollars to pretend that the stinking piles bad-debt that they, until recently, called AAA rated-securities can now have their full value in our new currency - S$"

The only sticking point preventing the move from the dollar to Sklanksy-currency at the time of writing is the insistance of David that he has his images on the notes. While the Fed has no problem with his profile on the front, it is Sklanksy's insistance on the 'nothing-but-flip-flops' shot on the back that is causing the, erm, sticking point.

Now if thats not enough to put you off of your breakfast...


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I must be owed a ton of life Sklansky bucks. Any idea where I can go collect them?

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