Wednesday, 2 July 2008

Annie Duke's 'Special Initiation Ceremony' Proves Too Much For New UB Online Pro

While the rest of the online world indulge in wild specualation, conjecture and pure guesswork - Melted Felt can today exclusively reveal the real reason for the departure of Eric 'Rizen' Lynch from the ranks of UB online pros after just a single month.

Popular lard-ass Rizen thought things were going swimmingly well until a meeting was called by Annie Duke at the UB Headquarters last week.

Alarm bells started to ring when, instead of a desk, the designated conference room contained a large cross with leather straps attached, stocks and a variety of whips, belts and numerous other restraint devices. When Annie Duke appeared dressed in a full rubber body-suit and razor thin high heels to begin the 'official UB online pro inititation', Rizen started to get real nervous...

When Johnnybax's big grin appeared around the door it appeared an explanation may be at hand. The relief was short-lived as the online guru turned out to be wearing nothing but a leather posing-pouch and vicious-looking nipple clamps.

The 'thwaaaaaaaak' of Annie donning rubber gloves was the final straw for familiy-man Eric who ran for the exit - stopping only briefly in the UB restaurant for an impromptu 5-course lunch.


PS: Thanks to Drarr for the mail which inspired this piece - though we did not use the original on this occasion (opting for the Annie-in-rubber line instead!!) this mail was a great inspiration. If anyone would like to contribute then your mail may or may not be immediately deleted at

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