Sunday, 27 July 2008

Exclusive Interview: The Party Poker Psycho

Everything here at MF is yet another exlusive, and this interview is no exception. Today we are happy indeed to bring you an interview with 'Dave' the total psycho from the top-right corner of the tables on Party Poker, famed for being the worlds most CPU-Intensive poker software client.

Melted Felt: So, erm, Dave - thanks for agreeing to be interviewed - how are you feeling today?

Dave: I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

Melted Felt: oh ... right, so how did you first get into online poker then?

Dave: I like to dissect girls. Did you know I'm utterly insane?

Melted Felt: Sure, Dave, erm, well, we were hoping to give our readers some poker related content here.... may, if you do not mind that is, we ask - how do you prepare for those long days at the Party Tables?

Dave: In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

Melted Felt: Now, Party has a reputation for being one of the fishiest online poker sites - would you agree that the tables are still as juicy as ever?

Dave: Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent.

F-ck (over your head? try watching / reading American Psycho then reading again)

MF

More Exclusive Interviews:

Interview With The Full Tilt Poker Shark

Interview With The Full Tilt Poker Turtle

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