Wednesday, 16 July 2008

Exclusive Interview With The Full Tilt Poker Shark.

In yet another Melted Felt exclusive, we are happy to bring you an interview with a familiar face at Full Tilt Poker. Yes, the usually silent Shark consented to an in-depth interview yesterday between moaning about suck-outs in mid-stakes cash games.

MF: How did you get started in online poker?

Full Tilt Shark: Well, when I decided to be a vegitarian at an early age and restricted myself to a diet of aglae and sea cucumbers. When the other sharks found out that the sea cucumbers were actually animals they laughed so much that they hounded me out of the pod... luckily I met a friendly crab called Mick who taught me 2-7 triple draw.

MF: So you did not enjoy scoffing down a tasty dolphin or two?

Full Tilt Shark: No, I have always felt a little queezy at the site of blood. It is such a macho-society under the sea, but I always preferred to hang out with the girls - you know gossiping and making sure the youngsters never got barnacles.

MF: Ummm, ok... How did you go from being a run-away gay shark to a pro-avatar at Full Tilt?

Full Tilt Shark: It was good fortune really, an opening in underwater world Las Vegas came up, you know - swimming around looking butch for people in a glass tunnel... I supplimented my income by playing 2-4 Limit at the Wynn, where I was talent spotted by Howard Lederer's pet Tuna.

MF: How does it feel to be the top choice avatar for 18 to 21 year old males who feel like their opponents should have more respect for their raises?

Full Tilt Shark: Well, simply great, all those young men demonstrating their high levels of machismo by typing 'retard' into a chat box from 100's of miles away from their opponents really get my cold blood pumping.

MF: Well, Thanks for your time, any final message for all of your fans?

Full Tilt Shark: My pleasure, I would just like to thank all of my fans for demonstrating not just their tolerance, but their virtual declaration of support for gays worldwide by choosing me as an avatar - next time someone types ' f-ing donk' into the chatbox with me showing, just think to yourself what a loving and socially tolerant individual is sitting behind the screen.



Klopzi said...


Great blog! I'm going to link you up on my site and see if I can send a bit more traffic your way.

If you could give my blog a read, I'd appreciate a link back if you feel there's some merit in my blog.

Oh, for the record, your poker blogger post describes my site to a tee.

Mark said...

Hey Klopzi,

Sure - always happy to link up with fellow bloggers!


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