Friday, 18 July 2008

Kahnawake Loses Grip On Poker Corruption

In another Melted Felt exclusive we bring you news of the desperate measures being taken by one Chief Joe Norton to keep the corrupt poker-world filling his pockets.

The Kahnawake gaming corporation have been over-seeing the likes of UB and AP's superusers, Full Tilts 'zero cashouts rule' and Bodog's 'no fold button' cash game policy for years in exchange for a few smokes and the odd few million dollars here and there.

In order to prevent an exodus of dodgy poker sites to the isle of man, the chief allegedly 'arranged' for some key figures in the industry to wake up with horses heads in their bed.

Asked to comment on the allegation that the (entirely legitimate) gun running, drug dealing and money laundering operations also included the OMG its TERRIBLE theft of a few bucks from poker players who were not smart enought to realise - the chief replied:

"What's the matter with you? Is this what you have become, some Hollywood finnichio that cries like a woman?" continuing, "Someday, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day accept this justice as gift on my daughter's wedding day."

Not quite sure what the Chief had been smoking we asked about the rumor that Russ Hamilton woke up with a horses head the day of his 'poker road' interview.

""Call a meeting, my friend, so there are no debts or grudges -- we will make the peace, you and I." replied the chief, adding ""Some day, you may have to do a difficult service for me."

Gulp.

MF

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