Saturday, 26 July 2008

Promising College Student Makes Decision To Become 'Forky'

A momentus decision was taken during this summers college break by one Brian Smith, from London England - Melted Felt is pleased to exclusively report.

Brian decided to give up his education as an undergraduate mechanical engineer and promising middle-class future for a life spent driving a fork-lift truck in 12 hour-shifts to support a wife and 4 knife-wielding, pot-smoking 9 to 13 year old hoody-wearing kids in a local-authority housing complex in Wandsworth.

Of course - that is 15 years from now.

Back to the cold reality of 2008 and we find Brian explaining carefully to his dubious mother how he had a natual talent for poker, had worked out that by moving up from 25c / 50c to $1 / $2, adding 4 more tables and getting the best rakeback deals available from those nice people at rakeback-planet. he would make $120,000 per year.

Brian elaborated that he was following his heart and would never be happy with a great circle of friends, active life with an interesting career. That he was fully prepared to 'live the dream' of sitting in a darkened room for 10 hours a day in complete isolation clicking buttons on his mouse and typing 'retard' into the chat box.

15 years after Brian realised that his 3000 hand 'winning sample' was in fact entirely attributable to just 3 lucky suckouts we asked if he has any advice for aspiring online-poker pros thinking about dropping out of college today?

Coughing up lumps after inhaling deeply on a supermarket own-brand cigarette, Brian encouraged all players to make the jump - explaining that he was a fantastic poker player in his day... just a little 'unlucky'.


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