Sunday, 24 August 2008

Exclusive: Barack Obama Reveals Scotty Nyugen As Running Mate

Melted Felt can today exclusively reveal that heavy-drinking poker pro Scotty Nyugen has been chosen by Barack Obama to join him on the vice presidential ticket for this years election.

Pronouced 'Winn' the former WSOP champ was revealed at a special conference yesterday. The choice is thought to have filled in a big hole in the democrats campaign as Omaba has been consistently rating very low in the polls on some of the characteristics most commonly associated with Nyugen such as slowrolling, getting really f9cking p1ssed and pretending to collude with Erik Lindgren at HORSE Final tables and saying 'baby!' a lot.

A democrat insider told us that he could see the roles being split like this, "Barack is quite good at shaking hands, making fundamentally meaningless speaches sound important and having a big set of pearly-white teeth" contining, "However, we felt that Scotty added that little something to the team in terms of the ability to sound like a complete d1ck at the poker table while drinking 12 bottles of Phil Helmuth branded beer and somehow still win"

Senator Edwards is keeping tight lipped about his choice of running mate - however Melted Felt can already reveal that Mike Matesows name has been mentioned...

MF

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