Thursday, 7 August 2008

Exclusive: WSOPE Venue Chosen For Pronounciation Gag Reasons

In another Melted Felt exclusive we can reveal today that this years venue for the World Series Of Poker Europe was actually chosen to let the British organisers have a bit of a giggle at peoples pronounciation of the name.

Liecester Square, a hobo-infested hole in the heart of Europe's most over-priced city, is home to many over-priced bars and nightclubs in which stupid working-class people wearing 'high-street designer labels' can spend $20 on a drink to fool themselves into believing they have some sort of class.

In what is believed to be a tounge-twisting coup the name of the square is actually elocuted as 'L-e-s-t-e-r' rather than the more obvious "L-y-e-Ce-ster'. Since this insider secret is only known to the British they are looking forward to having a mild-mannered chuckle over their warm beers at the expense of all those mis-guided 'foreign-chaps'.

In our special 3-bullet guide for US players leaving home for the first time, our European correspondant would like to offer the following advice:

- European Beer contains more than a trace-element amount of alcohol. If you are used to downing 10 Miller-Lights in a night do not boast about this to the Brits - they are used to drinking beers with around 27 times more alcohol than American equivalents, and will almost certainly drink you under the table.

- The US Dollar: Now you may have heard CNN talk about the weak dollar, however staying home the only effect is having to pay a little more for your gas. In London you will notice the effect, everything (and we mean everything) will cost 3 to 4 times what you are used to paying... explains why those European players do not give a f-ck in $20 SNGs right?

- The Weather: Forget London fog - this is a relic from the 19th Century industrial revolution and is about as realistic as a visitor to the US expecting real scenes from cowboy films in your major cities. Instead pack and umbrella and use the tried and tested Brit-way of telling what season it is based on whether the rain is warm or cold.


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