Sunday, 21 September 2008

Global Financial System Saved - By PokerStars

We exclusively bring you inside news of how PokerStars saved the global financial system last week today on Melted Felt.

Yes, the last decade has seen an ecomony not built on foundations of productivity, value and innovation - but on a giant pyramid scheme of debt brought about by the collective delusion that house prices would continue to increase above their economic fundamentals indefinitely, that this time 'its different'.

The collapse of Bear Sterns, Freddy, Indy, Fannie, Lehman and AIG had the potential to bring the global financial system to its knees... prompting the Fed to made the call to PokerStars to see what could be done.

On each hand the rake of 15c to $3 seems insignificant... however multiplied by billions of hands this had actually allowed PokerStars to accumulate more than half of the money in the entire world (3% margin of error). Since money was what the global financial system was short of it made sense that the financial giants of old come under the direct control of the Isle-of-Man based online poker company.

Of course this came with a price... we can exclusively reveal that in president Bush's next televised address he is going to explain how it is the duty of every American to play the $10+rebuys at least once a week and how proud he is to have reached 'Silver Star'.

We also understand that future policy will be sponsored by Stars and are looking forward to the 2008 election much more now that it is titled 'Full Tilt Poker Is Sh1t Election 2008'.

MF

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