Thursday, 25 September 2008

Kentucky In Poker Doman Grab

In yet another Melted Felt exclusive we can today break the news that the friendly 'Colonel' from KFC is in fact the evil mastermind behind an unprecidented step to wrest online gambling's biggest domains from their rightful owners.

The initiative, funded entirely by vested interests in mafia-style underground horse racing betting outfits, would set a global precident that anyone doing anything considered 'naughty' by a governmental organisation around the world could have their business shut down.

We asked the colonel, who is personally responsible for a thousand fried-rat-based urban myths, what the move meant to every day online poker fans, "hey, thats finger lickin' good" said the colonel, "we are looking for supporters in our bid to rid Kentucky Fried Chicken of rigged online poker games - for every donation we get you'll be slipped a dead-cert winner at the next meeting at Ellis Park - washed down with my superb new spicey chicken wraps for only 99c with any large size meal"

When asked about the potential to set precidents for other countries the Colonel - who is the only person alive to know the secret recepie for Coca Cola (erm, or something) - started getting a bit vauge, "these online poker sites don't pay pay a single cent in tax, even though they would like to and actually would welcome US-government regulation, along with a family bucket" continuing "our point is that racing horses is actually finger-licken'-good, while having your aces cracked online can lead to gun-related tilt incidents or dropping Zinger Tower burgers"

Well, thanks Colonel -we look forward to seeing 'Swift Destiny' come in 1st on Saturdays 2pm race at 6/1.


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