Sunday, 7 September 2008

PokerStars APPT Macau Final Table Preview

As the exiting climax of the Poker Stars sponsored Asia-Pacific Poker Tour (APPT) Macau event gets underway, Melted Felt bring you an exclusive look at a final table made up of some of the biggest names in the history of the region.

Before we get there, a sigh of relief after the bubble as the last Japaniese contestant was busted in 10th place. The shame and indignity of finding out he was dominated lead yet another potentially talented Jap to commit hari-kari right there at the table... cleaning staff had just enough 'vanish' to clear up all the blood and are celebrating the fact that there are no further contestants from the land of the rising sun in the contest.

So - the Poker Stars APPT Macau Final Table Lineup:

Seat 1: Jackie Chan - 1.2 Million chips, a menacing figure at the best of time Jackie was a little disappointed not to have position on Bruce Lee, but is apparently really looking forward to the first person to point out that Jackie is a girls name.

Seat 2: Chairman Mao - With 1.6 Million Chips, the chairman is campaigning hard for everyones chips to be set at an equal level after each hand of 1 million chips each. His own stack would thus be 3 million... after all some poker players are more equal than others.

Seat 3: The Dalai Lama - 600k Chips, Well the Dalai may want to free Tibet, but he absolutely hates giving free cards - players are especially well advised to respect the serene one's check-raises.

Seat 4: Pol Pot - 200k Chips, nobody can be 100% sure, but there is a strong suspicion that former Khumer leader Pot has the Dead Kennedys 'Holiday In Cambodia' on infinite repeat on his iPod.

Seat 5: Monkey Magic: 1.9 Million Chips, banned from using his magic staff or flapping his lips vigorously with a finger - Money will certainly benefit from strategy insights and knowledge of Pigsy in the intervals.

Seat 6: Bruce Lee: 1 Chip, Bruce may be down on chips but he is certainly not out, expect a fightback lasting 30 minutes which leaves all opponents lying around the venue with broken necks.

Seat 7: How Hi: 750k Chips: This previously unknown contestant from Xing proving once and for all that how high is a Chinaman.

Seat 8: Ho Chi Minh: 2.7 Million Chips, the former leader of the Viet Cong is no stranger to conflict, already thought to have built tunnels under his opponent's seats in case things go wrong.

Seat 9: Fu Manchu: 1.1 Million Chips, expected to be under serious scrutiny at the final table, the completely fictional evil criminal mastermind is thought to have bought the services of Jackie Chan, held How Hi's entire family hostage... and may be keeping some rather explicit photos of the Dalai Lama in compromising situations with a duck.


MF

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