Monday, 22 September 2008

Shock As Stars Discover 'Elky' Is French

Poker Stars were forced to take drastic measures yesterday - Melted Felt can exclusively reveal - after discovering that one of their own team of pros is, in fact, French.

Elky - real name Bertrand Grosspelier - has had to forfeit $10k in winnings and has been banned from the rest of the WCOOP events after the scandalous revalation came out.

The poker pro, who is based in South Korea, recently won the Poker Stars Carribean adventure and has had deep runs in many prestigeous live events was not available for comment. Instead we spoke to Stars to find out just how much of an impact the 'outing' of Elky as a Soap-Dodging Fenchy has caused.

"Oh la la", started our source, "I mean, we just had no idea that Elky came from the land of hairy-armpit women who snack the limbs of amphibians" continuing, "how he got through is a mystery - after all - the name does give it away somewhat, must have been an office junior thinking he was called Bert Gross or something like that".

"The mood in the Poker Stars office is one of shame and embarrassment at the moment, we are normally proud of our security measures and can not believe that a Garlic-Muncher got through" going on "Did we mention that Full Tilt Poker are Sh1te?".

MF

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