Wednesday, 22 October 2008

Gay Online Poker Player Concerned About 'Tells'

In another shocking exclusive we bring you the amazing story of closet gay poker-fan Daniel, from MA. Several suspicious circumstances have lead Daniel to believe that he is being watched by foreign intelligence agencies - who are leaking personal information about his sexual orientation to all of his opponents at the poker tables and forums online.

The first hint that something was up came when limp-wristed Danny managed to get all-in with a pair of 4's against a pair of kings on Poker Stars. Immediately our shirt-lifting friend rivered a 4 to win the pot the chat box was filled with astoundingly accurate information about his sexual practices (though fortunately they missed out the stuff about the hamster in mini-scuba gear)

Just days later after posting on the internet's most hate-filled forum - Pocket 5's - our mincing fairie's request as to whether his 10,871,533% ROI was sustainable was met with yet more uncannily accurate information on his preference for muscular, bearded mature men rather than the pretty ladies.

Since then this same pattern has emerged no less than 17 times, usually when an opponent who has no clue about post-flop play loses a pot with the 'best' pre-flop hand.

We asked our village-people listening interviewee whether he intends to take any action against those commiting the hate-crimes against him... however he was unable to answer as he had popped out to meet George Micheal in the local public toilets...

MF

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