Wednesday, 12 November 2008

Eastgate Victory: Danish Press Push Aside Cartoons

Melted Felt is pleased to exclusively report a monumentus decision taken yesterday - that the Danish press would cancel their anti-religious cartoon publishing for the rest of the week to make space to write stuff about 13-year-old Dane Peter Eastgate's historically delayed WSOP victory.

Munching a tasty Bacon sandwich washed down with Carlsberg our Denmark correspondant told us that he was personally very pleased indeed that he is not a German, and that the 'land of peace and smiles' would be celebrating the 60% tax on Eastgates winnings by eating a LOT of bacon, and drinking even more Carlsberg than usual.

Eastgate himself, who mentioned how proud he was not to be Swedish, admitted that after considering the traditional Danish careers of Pig-farming, brewing Carlsberg and drawing cartoons offending various relgions - he chose poker in order to follow in the footsteps of Gus Hansen, who famously looks like one of those 'Mr Potatohead' toys in which you stick plastic eyes, noses and ears to a raw potato.

Speaking to Lars Larson, editor of the biggest Danish daily newspaper 'The Your Religion Sucks Big Time Times' we found out the plans for the coverage. "Firstly I'd like to mention how good it feels not to be a depressed Finn" said Lars, continuing. "we planned a great series of anti-religeous cartoons this week in which a fleet of stinking Norwegian whalers harpooned Buddah" going on, "but in light of Peters historical victory we were thinking instead that publishing pictures of unimpressed ordinary Danes sticking out their bottom lips, turning their palms upwards and saying 'ja, of course' - now if you will excuse me my bacon and Carlsberg is waiting...".

MF

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