Sunday, 9 November 2008

Poker's Multi-Accounting Scandal - Queues Form

Melted Felt can sensationally reveal yet another poker exclusive yesterday, as Seal and Mr Casino become the latest confirmed cheats in a poker scandal that is mushrooming into watergatesque proportions.

We understand that groups as far ranging as The Masons, The Mafia, The Kahnawake tribe, the mormons, illuminati (who also issued a second statement denying that they exist) and of course the completely useless PPA are to issue a joint statement. This will distance them from multi-accounting and the backing of almost every decent player in the field, claiming that instituational corruption, organized crime, drug running, political scams and prostitution are all decent and well established professions - and not be be mentioned alongside the evil multi-accounters.

It seems like years ago that Zee Justin, The Void and JJ Prodigies kiddy crew were caught cheating. Our insider was able to reveal that a 'big guy' known as Derick "Bed-Linen' Faber was now behind the bankrolls of the vast majority of people who play each other at online final tables, and that this was spreading to his accomplice 'Jimmy Dax'.

We asked PokerStars to explain how the inter-account transfers and final-table appearances were monitored and controlled to prevent suspicion of softplaying... initially they responded by sending us a giant poster of Chris Moneymakers WSOP championship win. After persisting with this important line of enquiry it was made very clear to us that further attempts to gain information would be met by a lot more of these posters... a very scary prospect indeed.


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