Friday, 19 December 2008

Poker Stars To Attempt New World Record

In another sensational exclusive, Melted Felt are pleased to bring you the shocking news that Poker Stars - that poker site which is considerably larger than Full Fucking Tilt - are planning a world record attempt between xmas and new year.

Yes, Team Poker Stars will get together at a secret location and - assisted by several 'industrial size' tubs of vaseline - will find out exactly how many copies of the '2008 Guiness Book Of World Records' they can successfully shove up Howard Lederer's ass while singing the Poker Stars anthem.

The 'thwack' of rubber gloves was already ringing through the corridoors of Stars Isle-of-Man HQ yesterday as Chris Moneymaker volunteered to help get the team properly trained by allowing multiple copies of the lubricated and (thankfully) abridged edition of the 'Times Atlas of The World' to be inserted into his anus.

Apparently Daniel Negreanu has become a nervous wreck and actually fainted after seeing a fan approach holding an autograph book...


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