Sunday, 1 February 2009

Google To Become Honest About Poker Websites

In a sensational and shocking exclusive this weekend, Melted Felt are about to reveal the low-down on a change by Google which will change the way you experience the internet - forever!

Yes, this weekends 'accident' in which all 700 trillion sites which the big G indexes were given a warning that they 'may harm your computer' was no glitch. No dear Melted Felt reader - this was part of a huge master plan by Google to own the entire world have have Bill Gates clean their toilet. No, hang on, sorry, went off track there a little... what we meant to say was:

Google plan on implementing a brand new system of warnings for 2009 which will actually tell you the truth about poker websites before you click. Our very own Melted Felt mole slept its way to the information required to bring you some examples:

- Google Depression Warning: This poker blog contains so many fucking bad beat stories that we recommend you just slit your wrists now rather than click this link.

- Google Historical Interest Warning: Dated poker strategy from C2002, click this link only if the horribly outdated opinion of someone who won a bracelet in a minor WSOP event in 1947 is what you are after, but expect to get crushed online if you follow any advice given.

- Google Wannabe Cardrunners Warning: Badly coded training site offering videos by some kid who ran well in $2 / $4 No-Limit for a few months and his 'cool' forum mates. Expect egos, suckouts and very little education value.

- Google Pack Of Dogs Forum Warning: Do not post on this forum, do not ask for advice until you know every acronym, the coolest language and the entire history of most internet pros past and present. Instead of asking for advice on the 3+3 forum we recommend the less painful alternative of covering yourself in bacon and burgling your local stray dog compound.

- Google Sharkscope Comparison Warning: Do not click on this link and express an opinion unless your sharkscope / poker DB / etc graph is bigger than that of those you intend contradict. Doing so on P7's will immediately result in homophobic comments and mass quotations of quotations with the word 'this' included.


No comments:

Add to Technorati Favorites