Friday, 20 March 2009

Australian Government To Ban Online Poker?

Topping off a bad week for global proponents of freedom, individual choice and the fundamental right to play ace-six off suit from out of position in a multi-way raised pot - the Australian government have decided to ban a large list of online poker sites as part of a net censorship initiative, Melted Felt can exclusively reveal.

Known as the 'Citizens United National Trustees', the group responsible - lead by senator Stephen Conroy - think that getting ISPs to block a list of 'bad' websites will go a long way to protecting innocent sheep throughout the country.

"With more sheep than people, Austraila has a lot to protect", a government spokesman told us yesterday, before continuing, "imagine a young lamb inadvertantly wandering into an internet cafe, ordering a medium latte and logging on only to be faced with the evil that is online poker - there is potential to lose the entire flock's winter feed and supply of that extra-strong sheep-dip which kills off those pesky ticks" finishing, "we feel it is the duty of the Australian government to protect every sheep in our society, regardless of social status, education and physical condition"

At this point the national anthem started - meaning every Australian had to find the nearest television and tune into todays eposide of 'Neighbors'. We patiently waited for 35 minutes to see if we could get the 'word on the street' concerning the online poker ban, only to find out there was nobody left under 40... seems every last one of them is now working behind a bar somewhere in London....


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