Tuesday, 3 March 2009

National Gambling Awareness Week Launched

Melted Felt is today pleased to participate in the publicity for National Problem Gambling Awaress Week 2009 which runs through to the 7th of March. This will try and educate stupid people about odds and probability in various forms of gambling. It will also look them squarely in the eyes and tell them that - even if they did win a multi-million prize on their state's lotto - they would still be a classless little fuck.

Milly Tant, an overweight, pug-ugly do-gooder with a degree in Gender-Studies explained that, with a little support from hardline religious groups, they would make life miserable as hell for a winning poker player who enjoys a balanced lifestyle, at the same time as ignoring those poor people who would rather play lotto with their last few dollars than buy medicine for their sick children.

But that, as they say, is not all!

This year youtube videos are being used as a way to get extra pulicity (yeah, yeah, only 5 years behind the curve!). Titles that the Melted Felt Mole has already watched include:

- Problem Gambling: Overplaying Ace-Ace-x-x in Pot-Limit-Omaha

- Problem Gambling: Spotting And Dealing With The Symptoms Of 'Scratch Card Players Wrist'

- Problem Gambling: Why The Lotto Is A Tax On The Stupid

- Problem Gambling: The Link Between Online Bingo And Cruelty To Cute Furry Animals

- Problem Gambling: Why Putting A Quarter In A Slot Will See You Burn In Hell For All Eternity


PS: Of course problem gambling is for real too... they are at the top of the search results on this Google page for anyone who really has a problem: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=national+council+on+problem+gambling&aq=0&oq=national+council+on+problem

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