Thursday, 16 April 2009

Ante Up For Africa Tournament Aims To Educate On Risks Of Sh1te Poker Sites

Continuing the charity theme today, dear Melted Felt reader, with a story as exclusive as gorilla-meat kebabs and as heart-warming as a fluffy
lion-cub. Yes, Africa is the last frontier for online poker, and the great unconquered continent is now the focus of Poker Stars - who are aiming
to provide education on the risks of playing at UB and Full Tilt to semi-nomadic tribes, child soldiers and giraffes.

It is no coincience that the first 'Ante-UP for Africa' Charity tournament will be held alongside the EPT grand final in Monte Carlo. Affluence and glamour are the perfect backdrop to be able to get the maximum guilt from filthy rich poker players - and thus maximize the amount of cash going to the African education efforts.

We made up this exclusive interview with an insider at Poker Stars by sending the imaginary Melted Felt Mole to infiltrate their propaganda department.

Speaking to Jill, head of 'laughing so hard at UB that a little bit of wee comes out' at Poker Stars to get the scoop we were shocked by just how bad the situation has got on the big continent. "Well, I asked some villagers which online poker site they preferred, and they just stared blankly, pointed to their starving children and started beg for food and medicine", Jill began, "I mean, no opinions at all!!". Next we asked what this meant for the future of online poker in Africa, "It's brutal out there we have obtained inside information that Full Tilt are already sponsoring armies of child soldiers as part of a wider branding exercise, and that the majority of people had never even heard of the Potripper scandal".

Supporting Poker Stars efforts with the Ante Up For Africa tournament is easy, just join an online satelite or two, get sucked out on and then sit back proud in the knowledge that you contributed to building a network of schools in remote villages with the remit to educate poor africans on just how sh1te Full Tilt Poker really is.


PS: (yeah, another PS...) There is a real Ante Up For Africa tournament, and it really is a good cause... check it out at Poker Stars (dot com) website now.


Truthans said...

"Speaking to Jill, head of 'laughing so hard at UB that a little bit of wee comes out' at Poker Stars to get the ..."

Brilliant. This keeps happening to me when reading the MF news. Got "Teena Lady" now so its all good.

Joppa Road said...

loving your work as always.

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