Sunday, 26 April 2009

Elky In Bid To Beat French Hygene World Record, And Play A Few SNGs

Mange Tout Mange Tout dear Melted Felt readers, are you ready for an exclusive so exclusive - that you'll wonder where you left your garlic press? Yes, we can reveal today that the EPT Monte Carlo will feature an attempt by Poker Stars Pro Bertrand 'Elky' Grospellier to beat the French world record for taking showers during 1 week... and play a few hundred $6.50 SNGs too...


The French national showering record is going to be a tough one to crack, and is currently in the hands of one Djack Djon-Mustard who managed to set the current record of 1 shower / week in 1963. That day Djack shat himself, slipped on a puddle of putrid fish-oil into a vat of fremeted pig-sh1t and was pelted with rotten-eggs on his way home... forcing him to take out the operations manual for the shower he had installed some years earlier.


Elky's attempt to beat this record will set a lot of enquiring minds in the Garlic munching community... the question of what actually happens when French person showers twice in a week rating alongside questions over Atlantis, Area 51 and the location of the Pyramids...


Poker Stars have effectively turned this into a finely tuned publicity stunt, with Elky due to try and play as many $6.50 SNGs as possible in the hour directly before the showering record attempt... points will be scored depending on how many times he shouts "Merd, how 'zee foke could 'e call with 'zat joonk" while playing.


Well, Good luck with the showering Elky... we really do suggest rethinking the SNGs part though.


MF - Campaigning for cleaner French people since 1963.

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