Friday, 10 April 2009

Harman's Charity Tournament To Bring Relief To Poker Playing Dogs

An exclusive preview today, as Melted Felt can sensationally reveal the details of poker pro Jennifer Harman's 3rd annual charity poker tournament - in aid of the forgetten victims of 'dogs playing poker' pictures which adorn bars and cheap restaurants worldwide.

Scheduled for 5pm on Friday the 17th of April at the Venetian, this event is a $300 buy-in with enough rebuy options to ensure that even the biggest donkeys are still there after the break. The aim of this charity tournament being to beat the $130,000 raised last year in support of dogs who were made to pose for poker playing pictures by evil cats, sometimes being forced to smoke and drink while they posed.

We exclusively spoke to Fido, a Border Collie who still suffers flashbacks, guilt and nightmares about his time at the hands of the poker-playing-dogs pictures gang. "Sausages?", began Fido, "it was really Ruff, ruff standing on our hind legs for hours on end, smoking ruff cheap cigars and drinking ruff brandy", continuing "I can still picture Rover now ruff - before he was caught and made to pose for the dog poker pics he was a happy-go-lucky Scotty without a care in the world... 1 year later he's ruff, broke, lost his kennel, collar and every single buried bone to his name all he talks about is his sharkscope graph and how he is a great player - just unlucky"

"Sausages?" continued Fido before going on to tell us about the evil Cat gang masters who burned the paws of a Whippet for refusing to play billiards for the pictures, and even threatened to dock the tail of a German Shepard who refused to stop short-stacking...

So, dear Melted Felt readers, do what you can to help the desperate victims of the dogs-playing-poker gangs and get down to the Venetian on the 17th...

MF

PS: Just to add, there is a real charity tournament which really does help animals at the Venetian on the 17th April at 5PM... go on, we'll throw you a sausage.

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