Monday, 13 April 2009

Obama OKs White House 'Pet Online Poker Player'

Continuing the dog theme today, dear Melted Felt readers, with a cute story that just begs to be included at the end of the regular news - after tales or shooting sprees, plane crashes and economic depression - just to cheer y'all up a little, or something.

Hot on the heels of the White House's announcement of a new '1st puppy' (a scruffy mongrel that some joker convinced them was a "Portuguese Water Dog" - lol), it emerges that Michell Obama is on the lookout for a pet online poker player too.

Yes, the idea is that the online poker player will provide entertainment for senators, congressmen and even foreign dignitaries when they visit... and also act as a warning to Malia and Sasha on what can happen when how you play AQ suited out of position becomes more important to you than personal hygene.

With so many potential types of pet online poker player to choose from our White House insider gave us the scoop on the short-list being considered.

- The Micro Cash Game Grinder is said to be the top choice of Sasha, who enjoys the way they look down on tournament and SNG players as inferior at the same time as playing a mechanical game over 12 tables which would lose money if it were not for the rakeback.

- Malia is said to want a pet freeroll whore, the type who joins forums an hour before the 1200 runner $25 freeroll starts and begins sending PMs like crazy to get the password

- At the end of the day Mom gets to choose, and Michelle's mind is already made up on this one, she just adores the college-age 'Tilt Monkey' type, who will sit there happily grinding and then throw a fit (complete with repeatedly typing OMG into the chat-box) after losing a 70% / 30% spot... blowing off all their bankroll in the next 5 minutes. "They're just so sweet", Michelle was quoted as saying.

Stay tuned, dear reader, to find out which type of pet online poker player is unvelied.

MF

2 comments:

Joppa Road said...

quality.

Just saying hello.

JR

Mark said...

Hey Joppa - thanks for stopping by!

Mark

 
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