Wednesday, 8 April 2009

Party Gaming Pay $105 Million To US - But Why?

In back-handed, brown paper bag full of used notes exclusive today, Melted Felt can reveal that Party Gaming, owners of Party Poker and a sh1t pink bingo site, have handed $105 million to the US in exchange for a promise that they will not be prosecuted for something which was outside of the jurastiction of the US in the first place, or something.

Not satisfied that the resulting publicity was worth the full $105 million, we sent the Melted Felt Mole into the dark and shadowy world of Washington DC to find out more.

The results were shocking.

It turns out that Amrag Dikshit - ragga to his friends - the multi-trillionaire owner of Party Gaming, was feeling a little bored with counting his huge piles of money, priceless antiques and art masterpieces. For a bit of amusement Ragga through it would be funny to spend the odd $100 million reminding US players that Party is as big a poker cash-cow as you will ever see in your lifetime, and how funny it is that those in the US can not play there.

Snikkering behind his hand Dikshit went on to remind US Citizens that playing at Party was almost the same as printing money, that there were so many donks at each table that more seats were planned, and that even a $3 SNG player on a US site would be able to take down the Monthy Million tournament with no effort at all.

In a final message Amrag said that he hopes those players in the US enjoy sitting at 9 handed tables with 8 break-even nits all slowly losing their bankrolls to the rake - he very much looks forward to welcoming you back to Party Poker, any time after 2023 should be just fine.


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