Tuesday, 28 April 2009

WHO Reassure Poker Community Over Swine Flu

In an unprecedented step the World Health Organisation (WHO) yesterday too steps to reassure the poker community that the Swine Flu pandemic was unlikely to affect any guaranteed prize pools in the online Sunday Majors.

The powerful mutant flu-virus, which has the potential to kill 98% of the world's population by next Thursday, could easily result in the Sunday Million $1.5 million guarantee reduced to a $1.25 million as the viscious N1H1 strain seems to particularly target young adults in their online poker prime.

However, the spokesman suggested that online poker players are actually a lot safer than the general population and should not worry about this deadly disease. The key reason being that the mode of transmission is human-to-human, and, well, lets face it, when was the last time most online poker pro's saw another human... let alone had any physical contact with one?

WHO officials cleverly used the opportunity to educate online poker players on the heath risks associated with their trade, including a long list of viruses and bacteria which thrive in half eaten take-away pizza slices and mostly empty Red Bull cans used as ash-trays. Tournament players being particularly at risk if they do not regularly steralize their piss-pots.

Luckily Poker Stars have jumped to the rescue - offering a Swine Flu cure for only 16500 FPPs for those of Gold Star Status and above.

MF

2 comments:

Yorkshire Pud said...

phboned the doctor yestersay as I was scared I had contracted swine flu, but all I got was crackling.

I'll get my coat!

Mark said...

Tumbleweed moment there Yorkie I'm afraid... well, you would not be laughing if you\d woken up this morning covered in rashers.

Cheers, Mark

 
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