Thursday, 7 May 2009

Aced To Replace Gold With The Squirrel From Ice Age

In an exclusive that spawned 101 spotty puppies, Melted Felt can today sensationally reveal the real truth behind WSOP luckbox Jamie Gold's mysterious departure from obscure poker site Aced.

While the poker press speculated, the Gold camp finger pointed - and the Aced PR department confirmed that rabbit-cams significantly added to the end-user experience, none other than the Melted Felt Mole found out the real truth... that the acorn-obsessed squirrel from the Ice-Age movies has been assigned the job of prepresenting Aced at major events from now on.

All-round nice guy Jamie Gold, who famously won the 2006 WSOP Main event and has not won a single hand of any game since, was apparently embarrassed after playing so badly in the Aced tournament named after him that he regularly knocked himself out - winning his own bounty. The final straw came when he found out that his cash-game losses represented more than 75% of Aced's total turnover... and Gold walked away.

The squirrel has apparenly been in secret talks with Aced since running into them at the Oscars charity event earlier in the year and speculation is that he negotiated a 8-acorn deal. Aced are looking forward to seeing how the Ice-age squirrel fares in this years World Series, where he will be completeing with seveal other animals including Aussie Millions runner-up Skippy the bush kangaroo, Boss Hog's beagle and of course Phil Helmuth.

We asked the Gold camp for their comments - but all they would say is, 'Pay peanuts, get monkeys'

MF

2 comments:

knup said...

LOL... Good stuff :)

Freddie Bicknese said...

Great one! I laughed hard.

Best line: "... has not won a single hand of any game since..."

Keep it up.

-Freddie Bicknese from www.nodonkeysallowed.com

 
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