Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Celebrity Apprentice Shock As Rivers Removes Mask

In an exclusive spookily similar to the end of the 1980s spoof detective film 'Murder By Death', Melted Felt can bring you a proper shocker from the final episode of Celebrity Apprentice that was so shocking that the producers decided it could not be aired.

Yes, dear Melted Felt readers - just as the Joan Rivers and Annie Duke were embracing at the end, putting weeks of bitter fighting behind them, Rivers actually tore her face clean off... discarded that blonde wig... and revealed that it was none other than Phil Hellmuth Jr under there all along.

With both Rivers and Hellmuth sporting flappy, jowely necks and both being almost completely devoid of any visible talent it appeared to be a perfect match. And with all the money going to some random charity called 'The God Hates Whatever I Hate Foundation For Love' nobody was really complaining about the deception.

However the fallout from the series looks set to continue with various groups seeking to distance themselves from Annie Duke. A worldwide group of Nazis are apparently looking to sue the menopausal poker celeb for bringing their name into disrepute. Sociopaths throughout the country would have been deeply offended by Duke being likened to them... if they had the capacity for it - and the committee of the American Pit Bull Terrier Owners Club have introduced a temporary ban on the name Annie until the whole affair blows over.

MF

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