Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Devil Moves To Distance Himself From Mattusow Book

In an exclusive so shocking that we plugged it into the national grid, Melted Felt can today reveal that diabolical deity Beelzebub has asked his evil publicist Max Clif-face to ensure that he is distanced from Mike Mattusow's new book 'Check-Raising The Devil".

When we spoke to the force behind more than 99.4% of all known soul-torturing yersterday he was keen to point out that, while Mike the Mouth did check-raise him once - the ultimate evil overlord did 4-bet, forcing Mattusow to fold. "I felt that the title mis-represented the hand" Bub began, "To the casual reader the interpretation is definitely that the check-raise was successful, when in fact the mouth squirmed visibly when I came over the top and - after a short period of posturing - folded his 7-5 off suit like a little lamb".

We asked how he could be so sure of Mikey's hand? "You think being the source of all of the world's evil does not come with it's perks?" Bub continued, causing a fatal car crash in the road below by pointing a long red finger out of the window, "it's not like I need a Zee Justin setup here".

Next, we asked what plans the Devil had for his poker career moving forward, particularly bearing in mind his ongoing battle with God - who recently tried to cut down the devil's growing influence by making financial transactions to offshore poker sites illegal... turns out that the red ovelord of the depths of hell is not sitting still and intends to start his own staking site ahead of this years World Series Of Poker - guaranteeing a final table in the event of your choice for just 1 soul... yours.


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