Wednesday, 17 June 2009

De Wolfe Celebrates Canine Triple Crown

In an exclusive so riveting that you'll miss the bus to your 'Magic, The Gathering' game while reading it, we bring you the sensational news that Roland De Wolfe the British ex-hack, has made history by winning the first poker-canine triple crown after winning dog shows on two continents before taking down the 'big one' by winning a coveted Cruftsop bracelet.

It all started at the British annual military show, where De Wolfe won the obstacle-course event, by daringly jumping over walls and see-saws, slaleming poles just 1 meter apart and fearlessly dashing through a plastic tube. Next over to the US, where straight white teeth in your doggy
mouth are more important than the bark that comes out of it... where a victory in the East Coast's annual woofers event involved discreetly eating several rivals from the expensive handbags they lived in.

Wolfe himself admitted to some nervousness as the final table of the big-one, The Crusftsop came around. His nose dried out, his tail went straight between his legs and hairs were spread all over the Rio's carpet as Roland successfully sucked out, dodged bullets and bluffed his way to
the heads up section. A final nervous moment came when the judge cupped his balls, checked his ears for mites and patted him on the head one more time... before the Wolfe was finally awarded the rosette, erm, no, bracelet - and the prestigeous triple crooowwwwwwwwwn.


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