Wednesday, 24 June 2009

National Poker Week 19th to 25th July - PPA Launches 3 New Websites

In a shocking exclusive that has almost certainly never hit Rihanna we bring you news that the completely ineffective, but exceptionally well funded Poker Players Aliance will be sipping bottles of Cristal at your expense on tropical islands of... no, erm, sorry.... ahem... Will be launching 3 new websites ahead of National Poker Week - the event in which everyone who knows about poker will tell each other how important the game is, and everyone else in the world will continue to not give a fuck.


None other than the Melted Felt mole has been busy, not only getting a sneek preview of the content of the 3 new websites - but bringing you the URLs too... remember where you heard the news first!

Website #1 - www.MyWhiningBadBeatPokerStory.com

This site will host videos of everyday poker players explaining how they are exceptionally talented, just a little unlucky. The hope is to demonstrate to the voting public that these kind of people are better off grinding in darkened rooms where they are significantly less likely to reproduce - would you want them wandering the streets at night? No? Then legalize poker now!

Website #2 - www.HolyMoleySkillGameException.god

Aimed at winning over the conservative bible-bashing crowd - this site contains proof from preists, vicars, rabbis, immams and even the odd Bishop or two that poker is a skill game - and thus endorsed by God himself - and not gambling, which would be the work of someone elses completely wrong religion. The big holy skill game exception is backed up by a close up of the Turin Shroud which clearly shows the image of a poker table with ancient scripts explaining that you should not turn your jacks into 2-7 off by re-opening the betting when a re-raise will make you throw-up.

Website #3 - www.utterlypointlesspetitions.com

Finally a chance for you to vote for online poker and feel like you have actually done something when really you just clicked your mouse you lazy piece of whining shit. The great thing about this site is that Ben Yates from MN has already voted 17,652,821 times using a special designed akh script - thanks very much Ben!

Remember, dear Melted Felt readers, to make sure you tell someone who does not give a fuck that the 19th to 25th July is National Poker Week.

MF


PS: Yeah yeah, they are an easy target... but the PPA are actually a good bunch - you can (and should) support them if you care about the legality of the beautiful game in the USA, individual freedom of choice in general or the latest fashion in thorned crowns - Here is a link to their real website: http://theppa.org/

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