Wednesday, 3 June 2009

North Korea Special - WSOP To Remain Unaffected By Impending Nuclear War

In an exclusive so fruity that they drink it in the Congo, Melted Felt today brings you the reassuringly shocking news that contingency plans are in place for the World Series of Poker should North Korea rather rudely start a global nuclear war during the 2009 main event.

We taped this exclusive interview with the voices in our heads, under the guise that it was a spokesman for Hurrah's.

"Miles of chared, desolate, scorched earth - smouldering corpses and the over-reaching threat of slow and painful death from radiation sickness will not prevent the festival of poker which is the 2009 World Series from being the best ever!" our contact began, "we are going out of our way to provide special facilities in the event that global nuclear war - triggered by certified nut-case Kim Jong-Il - interrupts the events"

"We have a some special Hurrah's logoed chair and table coverings in store for players who reach televised final tables while bleeding from every orafice... and in the event of a player expiring from radiation-related condiditions during a hand, we have decided that all bets will stand - a side pot will be created for any blackened blabbering survivors with limbs hanging on by exposed tendons wishing to continue betting"

Relieved to hear about the contingency plans in place we asked whether the projected numbers of Poker Stars qualifiers would be lowered in the face of a global holocaust. "Absolutely not" our contact replied, "have you not seen the clause in small print of the Ts and Cs which states that players are still bound to turn up in that horribly camp Stars clothing in the event of armegeddon, judgement day, nuclear war, Ebola outbreak, swine flu or the Pope being delared Catholic??"

MF

1 comment:

Kevin Stevens said...

I see Guy Laliberte is to be a space tourist, there's got to be something there you can use! First man to dump off 100K with King high in outer space.

 
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