Friday, 26 June 2009

Poker Site Tributes Flood In As Michael Jackson Dies

A sad day in poker history today, dear readers, as the untimely death of the King Of Pop shocks the world momentarily, causes everyone to look up the news on the internet, say 'ohhh, what about Jackson then' to colleages when arriving at work - before finally getting on with whatever they were doing and forgetting all about it.

As fans, friends and family weep we have exclusively collected together the imaginary tributes not sent by some of the biggest online poker sites to the Jackson estate:

Pokerstars: One Vikram Patesh, head of quality control for the cookie baskets available via the FPP store, sent Stars' condolences... "We would like to offer our thoughts and prayers on behalf of the entire online poker community, and let you know that we will be introducing a full range of satellite qualifiers to the funeral shortly - we expect 'Jackson Funeral Steps' to be especially popular"

Party Poker: An anonymous spokesperson "A great loss to the world of entertainment - unfortunately this death has resulted in no account activity for several days, so according to our Ts and Cs we have removed the $2.16c remaining balance on MJs account"

Full Tilt: "We would like to distance ourselves from the unfortunate early demise of Jacko, and take the opportunity to clearly state that his death was in no way linked to our persistant refusal to switch him to over to rakeback"

Ultimate Bet: "Our thoughts are with the millions of fans worldwide who must be feeling a genuine sense of distress on this sad day, but enough about Phil Hellmuths lack of WSOP results...oh yeah, we are also sorry to hear that Wacko-Jacko has snuffed it too"

And the MF tribute... of course we would like to compliment Jacko on more than his status as the greatest entertainer the world ever knew, to us his ultimate achievement was to sell out 50 stadium sized concerts to the Brits shortly before his death, even though he was in terrible heath and had not even performed for 12 years - top stuff M-J, who ever said you can not fool all of the people all of the time!



1 comment:

Littleacornman said...

Brilliant.The Party Poker line rang so true :-)

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