Sunday, 14 June 2009

WSOP Bracelet Win For Brit - First 1st Since 1966

Mugs of steaming tea were raised, backs were gently slapped and shouts of 'jolly good', 'spiffing stuff' and 'darn good show' were seen around Britain yesterday, Melted Felt is pleased to exclusively report - as news trickled through of a first win in absolutely anything at all since 1966 - when one John-Paul Kelly took down a WSOP bracelet in the $1500 No Limit Holdem Event.

In fact the British are so deeply ingrained as losers that John-Paul's post win interview got rather confused:

Interviewer: Congratulations on your historic win and $192,000 prize John-Paul!

JPC: Thanks very much, I'd like to compliment the winner, who put up a great performance and outplayed me through the whole final table, Marc fully deserved his victory.

Interviewer: I think the emotion of the victory, the first for Britain for more than 700 years, must have got to you Jean-Paul... you are the winner of this event!!

JPC: Well, we will try again next year of course, right now I'd like to compliment the performances of the winners, have a nice cup of tea, and think about those areas of my game which might be improved upon in order to finish better next year.

Interviewer: Difficult to finish better John, you were in the top spot already.

JPC: Yes, well once again I'd like to congratualate the winners and say what a pleasure it was to compete with such talented players.

Interviewer: Oh shit, he's locked in the runner-up mentality. John-Paul... you WON, came FIRST, took every FUCKING CHIP, won the MAIN PRIZE.... I mean, how more plainly do you want it put?

JPC: I did? Wow, does that mean I'll get a knighthood?


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