Monday, 15 June 2009

WSOP Dealers: Ivey's 2nd Bracelet Nothing To Do With $190K Tip

In an exclusive so sensational it tops a limp-reraise in sheer excitement potential, we bring you the shocking news that Phil Ivey's 2nd WSOP bracelet win has no connection what-so-ever with the fact that he tipped the dealers some 190k after scooping his first bracelet or 2009.

While conspiracy theories grow and multiply like little fluffy bunnies, we note that statistical probablilty is a perfectly good explanation for the amazing run of cards which saw Ivey go from smallest stack to chip lead in the space of 10 hands. We dispute and reject any mutterings that the dealers knew that giant ginge PearlJammer was not going to be throwing at $100k chip into their kitty, and that Ming Lee would be popping straight to the antique dealers with his winnings - fully intending to puruse the vases.

Nope, the unlikely hands holding up to win pots where Ivey was favorite for neither the high nor the low side of the split-pot championships were co-incidental all right. One dealer caught winking in the direction of the world's greatest poker pro as he contemplated shoving all in with his single suited kings in the Omaha hi-lo round explained the situation to Melted Felt.

"It was a small flying insect" started Dougie, "it just buzzed right up and drowned in my eye-juices" adding "I also have a life-long facial tick, and saw an attractive woman directly behind Phil at the time" going on to inform us "humans blink 30,000 times a second, I just happened to do it slowly - and with one eye".

A different dealer was in place when Ivey hit a miracle card on the river in the Stud-8 round to make a straight for the high and 8-low to scoop a huge pot. Sarah, the dealer at the time explained to us afterwards that the fact her entire family was being held hostage by masked gunmen at the time was unrelated - apparently the result of an ongoing dispute with a their local Pet Insurance broker.

Ah well, with winnings of more than $7 trillion in side bets already banked, who would bet against Ivey making it three?

MF

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