Saturday, 18 July 2009

Shock As Online Poker Tournament Records War Escalates


In an exclusive so shocking its hair caught fire, we bring you some senstional poker news this Saturday - of a serious escaltion of the poker
tournament world record attempt war.

Yes, dear Melted Felt readers, it all started when Led the Head (of Full Tilt), decided that his 5th anniverary of pissing off the half of his players by refusing to give them rakeback should be celebrated by virtually pissing on rival pokerstars tournament world record parade...

Stars of course decided not to take this laying down and immediately spent a big wad of cash ensuring that they spoil Full Tilt's party - and prove once and for all that when it comes to online poker tournament challenges, their e-penis is the biggest of all.

Well dear readers - the scoop we bring you today is that record poker tournament war has spread far and wide, with almost everybody who is anybody getting right into the imaginary record-breaking action, this includes:

- PaddyPower Poker: Are going for the world record online guiness, poker and onion Bhaji tournament - each 15 minute blind level requires players to consume a can of the black stuff and a tasty onion bhaji... the final table could well be a little messy.

- Party Poker: Are trying to beat their own record for placing players into the blinds consecutively as tables break during tournament play, the current record holder - Klaus Heimann from Hamburg, posted the blinds 17 times in a row during a $5 MTT on May the 15th 2009.

- Titan Poker: iPoker's premier site are going for a more subtle tournament world record, trying to beat the previous score of 2 hours and 17 minutes before any player on their site noticed that after limping pre-flop the 'fold' button completely disappears for the rest of the hand.

- Absolute Poker: This one is going to be tougher and Melted Felt will certainly be railing hard at AP this weekend as they try and completely smash the record of tournaments won by people who were not friends, relations or associates of Russ Hamilton. One 1 non-Hamilton victory would be required... and insider sources are quietly confident that this lofty goal is achievable within a 3 to 5 year timeframe.

Our sympathies go out to Cake Poker, whose attempt to bring some much-needed tournament-record basedpublicity were scuppered at the last minute when both of their regular tournament players decided to get away for the weekend. Still, should leave a nice big overlay in their Sunday showcase $3.50c guaranteed...

MF

1 comment:

Kaus said...

"- Absolute Poker: This one is going to be tougher and Melted Felt will certainly be railing hard at AP this weekend as they try and completely smash the record of tournaments won by people who were not friends, relations or associates of Russ Hamilton. One 1 non-Hamilton victory would be required... and insider sources are quietly confident that this lofty goal is achievable within a 3 to 5 year timeframe."

Classic! Thanks for the laugh

 
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