Tuesday, 18 August 2009

Internet Loser In Near-Miss With Enlightenment

We are back, dear Melted Felt readers, with a shocking tale of just one small cog in the global machine that is the internet poker business. Today we bring you the take of Dave Heverstock, from Toronto, CA... who almost 'got it', for a few seconds at least, before it got away.

When Dave started with a $100 deposit he did not know much about the game, what-beat-what and the fact that if you missed your flush you had to bluff all-in, since only a moron would call you with 2 pair when you are 'obviously' respresenting tips.

After $100 more Dave started to realize that he was in fact very talented, in fact better than 99% of the fucking donks he was playing against. $100 number #3 and there was a moment of revalation, not really much like Moses on the Hill - it actually bore more similarity to realizing that you just called your girlfriend the wrong name while having sex, and you now have exactly 1 second before she mentally processes the words and the BIG trouble begins.. this revalation assured Dave he was extremely good - and that all that was required for him to be a balla poker hero was 'average luck'.

It was the 4th $100 in which doubts started to creep in, could it be true that lose limped aces were cracked again in a 5-way 4-straight 3-flush board with all the money going in on the river? It just was not right. Oh yeah, Dave was skilled alright, though a little unlucky, the reason he was losing was simply due to the 'doomswitch' being on when he played online.

While playing his 5th $100 deposit, Dave googled a little (after all, being that much better at the game meant that watching opponent tendencies was worthless) and found that there were a lot of people who felt the same way - proof, as if proof were needed (and actually it was not).

It was during his 6th deposit that the near miss occured. Dave was slowly losing his cash as usual when the tought suddenly crossed his mind that maybe he is not that good after all, and some education or study might help him become a winning player over the long run.

He went to Google with the sole intention of typing in 'how to get better at poker', accidentally came across a thread about how Random Number Generators were rigged to give a higher percentage of action flops, started to blame the sheer amount of donks who it was impossible to beat and then posted an entirely predictable and uninteresting bad-beat -justifying his hideous play with, "well, I'm very comfortable playing post-flop at these levels'.

Ah Dave, we wish you the best of luck with your 14th deposit... and look forward to all the 14 year olds dropping comments on this post with 'but, but it is rigged... my friend had aces cracked 4 times in a row last week"


PS: We have sent the MF Mole to scour the world of poker news for more exclusive scoops this week... bookmark us today!

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