Monday, 21 September 2009

The Charge Of The Donk Brigade

Well well, Dear Melted Felt readers... just as you were expecting the inevitable garlic muncher based gags after Elky's WCOOP we go the other way.

Yes, time for an entry which is almost guaranteed to be completely over the head of 90% of our readers. We just hope that the remaining 10% enjoy our special low stakes tournament adaption of Alfred, Lord Tennyson's 'The Charge Of The Light Brigade'... today we proudly present a modern-day epic, destined to be the homework of schoolchildren in 200 years time, yes, it is...

The Charge Of The Donk Brigade

1.Half a bankroll, half a Bankroll,
Half my Bankroll Buy-in,
All in the valley of Virtual Felt
Sat the six hundred.
"Forward, the Donk Brigade!"
Charge for the Unsuited Ace-6's!" he said:
Into the valley of Felt
Donked the six hundred.

2."Forward, the Donk Brigade!
"Was there a man dismay'd?
Not tho' the poker player knew
Someone had blunder'd:
Theirs not to type chat reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to call and fry:
Into the valley of Felt
Donked the five hundred.

3.Calling Stations to right of them,
Fishes to left of them,
Min-raisers in front of them
Donk Bet and Slowrolle'd;
Tilted at with any 2 suited cards,
Boldly they played and well,
Into the jaws of another suckout,
Into the mouth of tilt
Donked the four hundred.

4.Flash'd all their aces bare,
Flash'd as they hit trips with air,
Limping along with the others there,
Calling as an army, while All the world wonder'd:
Raised with rags into the smoke
Right thro' the kings they broke;
Cannuk and Russian Reel'd from the doomswitch stroke
Shatter'd and sunder'd.
Then they wrote back to their forum buds, but not
Not the three hundred.

5.Calling Stations to right of them,
Fishes to left of them,
Min-raisers in front of them
Donk Bet and Slowrolle'd;
Folded getting six to one,
While fish and semi-pro fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro' the jaws of Donks
Back from the mouth of suckout hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of two hundred.

6.When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wondered.
Honor their sharkscope graphs,
Honor the donk Brigade,
Noble final table.

MF

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