Monday, 5 October 2009

Full Tilt Sued By Poker Bot?

A shocking story today, dear Melted Felt readers - though one we are sure will turn out to be mostly harmless. Yes, we heard the news that Full Tilt are being sued by some alledged poker-bot owners at the same time as everyone else... and immediately dispatched our own specialist investigator affectionately known as the Melted Felt Mole to dig a little deeper. What he came back with is nothing short of gargle-blasting...

Yes, it turned out that the Bot in question was no ordinary poker playing computer program. None other than galaxy traveling robotic superstar Marvin the Paranoid Android was the one who had $80,000 confiscated. Not only that, but the Mole managed to grab this exclusive interview.

MF Mole: So, Marvin, Can You Please Describe The Circumstances Which Lead To This Lawsuit?

Marvin: "Suppose so, not that it will do me much good" began the Hitchikers Guides infamous metalhead started, "took me ages to accumulate that $80k too, then they just said 'no androids' and took it all away, just like that. I considered starting again with a $50 pre-paid visa deposit, but the queues at my local drug-store are just huge - so I decided to sue to get my money back".

MF Mole: Well, $80,000 - Thats A Lot of Cash, How Did You Win It??

Marvin: 'Thats the point isn't it - brain the size of a planet and there I was playing 5c / 10c pot-limit Omaha" (pauses) "I mean, you try and get your money in with the best of it, but its not like anyone respects raises any more, all 4-bet this, 5-bet that - depressing really"

MF Mole: So You Built The $80k Entirely At The Micros?

Marvin: "Yes, but my circuits show that, in terms of Sklansky Dollars I should really have been $84,336 up - just shows how bad I was running... the first 10 million bad beats were the worst, and the 2nd 10 million bad beats were also the worst, after that I just started running really really badly"

MF Mole: Any Plans To Return To The Tables?

Marvin: "Hardly any point now is there"

Stay tuned dear readers, we will bring you the outcome of the case as soon as we have it!


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