Sunday, 25 October 2009

While You Are Playing Poker... There Are Many Other Games Being Played!

Every now and again, Dearest Melted Felt readers, we like to gently prod the soft and oh-so-very white underbelly of online poker to bring you a shocking and gritty tale from those virtual tables. What many players concentrating on playing the beautiful game of poker with its many levels of thinking fail to realize, is that there are in fact many other games being played while you wrinkle that forehead over your next move.... today we look at just 5 of these 'other games' your opponents may be playing. If you spot one being played while online simply type, "Melted Felt!!" into the chat box then follow it quickly with "sry, wrong window".

So without any further preamble: 5 'Other Games' Being Played While You Play Poker!

1) Za-Nuttiest-Nuts: This is a favorite among low stakes PLO Players, it involves limping into every pot and trying to make the nuts on the flop often folding to a min-bet if they miss. The great thing about the game of making the nuttiest nuts is that you can make lots of money from people who do not understand the game, and think that their 2nd nuttiest nut hand is worth betting their stack on.

2) Tricked'Ya! A Great poker sub-game in which players deliberately play their hands in such a way as to make far less profit over time in order to check-mini-raise and opponent on a later street... they'll feel proud, talented and oh so very smart when you find out they hand a monster all along... though will reload their cash account extrememly often.

3) Told You So! While it sometimes seems like it is the majority of poker players who believe that they are talented but just unlucky, players of the 'Told You So' sub-game are at an extreme... rather than assess weaknesses in individual opponents to exploit with their play, they are looking for any evidence of hands winning which were not statistically favored pre-flop... an Ace-Jack spikes against an Ace-King and it is 'Told You So!!" time, where the boring sh1t goes on and on and on and on about site X being a joke and generally demonstrates they have no understanding of the concept of 30% or 20% or whatever-other-fucking-percent.

4) Pimp-Daddy-Cool! A great sub-game, and popular one too, is especially reserved for the lowest levels of tournaments and Sit N Goes. A player will make a strategy comment and meet little resitance, followed by a jab at an opponents bad play, followed by winning a big pot... at this point *boom* they transform into the 'king of the $3 tournament' showing those damn fish who is the daddy round here, utterly oblivious to the fact that speaking like 'the big man' in a micro-level game is, well, lets just say completely fucking daft and leave it at that.

5) 20% Off! Our final game is unfortunately also common, you'll be playing at a table at which one or two opponents are merrily donating cash and someone will decide that it is time to make this table less profitable - for themselves and everyone else.. up to 20% less profitable in fact. This is usually achieved by critisizing and berating the bad player until they leave... the (dumb-ass) players of this game then crow into the chat box, often actually believing that they are really very smart. In reality of course this is one of the most stupid things you could do at a poker table, but alas the players of 20% Off! are usually broke before the penny actually drops!

We are sure this is just a small sample of the sub-games going on right now - if you can think of any then let us know!

MF

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