Monday, 9 November 2009

2,137,228 Joseph Cada Fans Come Out Of The Closet

In a Melted Felt exclusive that is not scared to shove 40 big blinds to pick up the antes, we can today bring you the sensational news that 2,137,228 previously silent fans of Joseph Cada have popped their heads above the parapet - and revealed that they just knew all along that he would win.

With dangerous pro Ivey on the rail and Cada having a monster chip lead over trigger happy Darvin Moon we were amazed to find out that more than 72,845 poker players "regularly discuss strategy over the instant messenger" with Cada, 13,813 of them are regular attendees at his home game, 1521 went out with his sister and that more than 70% of his female fans think that $8.5 million would go 'a long way' to help them overlook his slightly wierd face.

In our highly dangerous role as investigative reporters at the front line of poker news, we spoke on the telephone to Josh, who posted 'told you so' messages on no less than 31 different forums after the World Series final table got down to just the two of them.

We started by asking Josh about the messages supporting Ivey a couple of days ago. It turned out the 'Ivey will win, no contest /thread' posts were made by his little sister, the tirade of abuse when someone questioned his ability to come back from a small stack was posted by his cousin's friend - and the ALL CAPS post that anyone who was rooting against Ivey was not a true poker fan was in fact posted by his Mum while worse for a bottle of the finest cooking Sherry, he then hung up.

Next we tracked down 'Ben', who claimed to be the only genuine and original Cada fan around - calling everyone else 'fair weather fans' and repeatedly assuring us that he was right there on the rail at the final table of the Full Tilt $750k when Cada won... We checked out the history and it turned out Ben was right - though we are not actually sure whether or not 'please ship me $5, please please please' and 'someone ship me $5 so I can enter a tournament, promise to pay you back $10 tomorrow, honestly' (along with 23 other variations on the same theme) counts as 'being a fan'.

Stay tuned dear Melted Felt readers, the heads-up match should be funny.

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