Monday, 23 November 2009

Proof A Last! Turin Shroud Reveals Secrets

In a post which will undoubtedly trigger mass hatred from those people who love to worship supernatural beings we bring you some timely proof... Yes dear Melted Felt readers, the completely unbiased researchers at the Vatican have been taking a look at the Turin Shroud... and with global warming only recently proven to be a complete hoax we are actually relieved to receive some enlightening proof.

Settling a debate which has raged for many centuries was never going to be easy, however condom-hating Vatican bookworm Barbara Fail has finally put our fears to rest after a starting hands chart for no-limit holdem was found faintly outlined in ancient greek on the side of Jesus' nose.

With huge debate, world wars and suicide bombers all triggered by some eternal questions we are the very first to bring you God himself's version of whether to play pocket 6's from the first 3 positions at a full table in a tournament with 20 big blind effective stack...

The answer is,.,.,.,Kzzzzkzk.... aaargh,... buh... fzzzzzzz

** Editors note - we apologise for the abrupt end to this post, unfortunately the writer appears to have been mysteriously struck by lightning.... ah well, at least the Global Warning being a complete hoax thing stands up to scrutiny.... **


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