Thursday, 10 December 2009

Joe Cada Treated To Big Day Out By PPA

An exclusive as usual today, Dear Melted Felt readers, as we bring you a trip report of 2009 WSOP champ Joe Cada's trip to Capitol Hill. Not only did Joe stick up for poker being a skill game on national TV, he is now taking his clean-cut nice-guy self directly to the politicians, whom he hopes to convince that winning flips with low pocket pairs is as American as it gets.

Cada's first port of call was with Democratic poker fans Linda Sanchez and Debbie Stablenow, who checked that Joes shoe's were recently buffed, before chatting about the best strategy for beating bearded tree-chopping calling stations heads-up.

It was never going to be easy meeting the Republican anti-fun brigade, however Cada managed to win them over after producing a card from his pocket which had large ticks next to 'no' for the questions 'Are you or have you ever been a communist?' and 'Are you or have you ever been a homosexual?'

Finally saw the champ's time came to up to stand in front of a cross-party delegation, Joe loudly cleared his throat, then removed his cap, brushed his hair over to one side and began to slowly turn around. At this point the tension in the room was palpable, with many politicians having years of experience almost unable to breathe due to the anticipation. A spotlight went on as members from both sides of the policical divide elbowed each other for position. Joe then gently pushed forward his right ear - revealing it to be freshly scrubbed and completely clean back there.

You could serve the relief in the room with a runciple spoon, a ripple of applause broke out, brows were mopped and high fives exchanged. Bible-bashing conservatives who previously thought that gambling was the devils work immediately signed up at Pokerstars, lost their money, then went straight back to thinking that gambling was the devils work. Lobbyists went to get their free lunch with business leaders, politicians went to committee meetings with each other and a declaration was made, voted on and passed all with unanimous agreement - that Joe was infact a very very very nice boy, very very very nice, nice.

This, however, was not the end of the big day out for Cada - the PPA then took him directly to Toys-R-US where he apparently spent some of his millions on more 500 go-go-hamsters... then to McDonalds for a burger and big yummy vanilla milkshake...


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