Friday, 12 February 2010

Pokerstars Offer Valentines Night Screen-Name Change

In an exclusive so made-up you'll actually be ever-so slightly scared when you find out that the authors of this blog do not use drugs, dear Melted Felt readers, we bring you a story that is all hearts, flowers, chocolates, cards, romantic candle-lit dinners and, erm, poker.

Yes, Titan may be looking to crown the king and the queen of hearts on the 14th of Feb, many players will shrug, stick out their bottom lips, and take their loved ones for a nice dinner before pretending that they still enjoy sex all these years and 25 pounds later... though there is a certain demographic who are suffering out there - and it is Stars who came up with the oh-so-perfect solution!

Since so many players would like to give the illusion that they are balla in various poker forums and communities worldwide, but are really broke, ugly, unfit, have bad skin and often stink of damp - Stars will enable changes in screen name between 8pm and 2am on valentines night!

This way skinny pale poker players whose only experience of women come from p0rn sites can pretend how p1ssed they are at having to break their poker schedule to take out that awsomely hot blonde on forums - while really playing their regular games. Once 2am comes and they revert back to their normal player Ids they have the perfect opportunity to brag about how great the sex was and say how pleased they are that she fell asleep after the 4th time... enabling the player to get back to the tables.

An insider told us that online poker players who wish to brag to their peers in exactly this way could actually make u 98.2% of the player population - making the special promo well worth the charges for the new code.

Well, we are off for a candle-lit dinner with the Melted Felt Mole on Sunday - can't wait.

MF

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