Friday, 19 February 2010

Rapid Fire Friday

Time for another rapid round up of the weeks poker news, Dear Melted Felt readers, before you spend the entire weekend drinking to numb the pain of your banal existences... Of course, this week has been dominated by the big 2 poker sites once again, with a record number of bad-beats recorded in last Sunday’s million and the FTOPs on as well… in other news:

- Barack Obama met the Dalai Lama to discuss the increasing amount of Chinese short-stackers in micro buy-in No-Limit Holdem games. The Dalai blamed this squarely on that obstinate bunch of Reds loosely known as the Chinese government. This restricted Obama’s response, since they not only produce all that cool plastic sh1t that Americans love, but have a fvck off big arsenal of nuclear weapons too… after considering mandating 50 BB minimums, Barak realized that he already banned gambling and so changed the subject of the discussion with the Dalai Lama to comparisons of popular hair-care products.

- Poker players on popular forums escalated the war of words this week, by insulting those players who went out of their way to find fish to play against. The all new ‘bumhunter’ insult is now open for use for any player who dares to actually attempt to maximize their profit instead of playing a giant leveling game with other regulars in an attempt to see who has the biggest e-pen1s. And you know how to lay claim to the biggest e-pen1s of all? Just accuse your opponents of overusing the term 'bumhunter'... hmmm, best ask Leathera55!

- Finally we bring you a tale of international intrigue, assassination and false-beards after a slow-roller was found dead in a hotel room in Dubai. Israel’s secret service Mosad have been implicated – however as with previous strange deaths of players who run down their time bank with the stone cold nuts when facing an all-in, the service has refused to either confirm or deny the accusations. British officials are meanwhile said to be furious that fake British passports were used in the assassination, claiming slowrolling may be rather irritating, but murdering slowrollers is just not cricket.

Until next week


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