Wednesday, 24 March 2010

Another High-Steaks Poker Cheating Scandal Uncovered?

In a post so shocking it redirected to Hong Kong, we bring you news of a possible cheating scandal which goes right to the core of online poker... For years losing players have blamed online poker being rigged for their losses. As the unwelcome truth dawns - that other players are the ones ripping you off and not the sites - it is time to breathe a sign of relief that this only happens at high stakes and not where you are playing, no, erm, wait a minute here...

Latest in a string of online cheating scandals are the allegations against one Nick Grudzien, chief of the poker training site Stoxpoker and high stakes cash game player. The case against Nick, brought by the trolls, grammar nits and otherwise intelligent human beings who lack even basic social interaction skills over at 2+2 was this:

2+2ers: "Cheat!!"

What follows is the version of events which followed as seen by those trusty voices in our head, the names of the dogs have been changed to protect their little fluffy ears.

Mason M: "Your Fired"

Nick G: "I categorically deny ever having multiple accounts, except for all those other accounts"

2+2ers: "Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire!"

Nick G: "I never played on more than one account that you know about at the same time"

Mason M: "Talk to the hand"

Rival Training Site Owners: "MeltedFelt Poker Training, Where We teach both you and your dog 'scruff' to shortstack"

Nick G: "I'll not play again until the poker sites tell me it is OK to do so"

Poker Sites: "Exactly which you are you talking about here?"

Mason M: "Can't Heaaaaaarrr Youuuuuuu with my fingers in my ears, eh?"

2+2ers: "Case proven beyond any doubt, sentence is for Nick to have his hand histories exposed before his peers"

Nick G: "I can categorically deny that my dog 'Lucky' has ever colluded"

Russ H: "Thanks Nick, maybe they'll forget me now"

Poker Sites: "Erm, can someone tell us what is going on"

Various 2+2ers Who Never Played Higher Than 5c / 10c: "We demand hanging, drawing, quartering, tarring, feathering and crusifixion - along with a lifetime exemption from having to punctuate forum posts as redress for the psychological stress"

Nick G: "You can check my hand histories, it will clearly show that no collusion was involved with any of the user names you know about for either myself, my dog 'Lucky', my cat Blackie or my rat 'Holing'... "

Mason M: "Still not listening, La la la, Hum Hum Hum"

2+2ers: "Fed up with this one now, off to NVG to argue with someone who thinks online poker is full of colluders... or something"

So, now you know...


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