Thursday, 4 March 2010

Poker Player In 'Dropping Tiger Woods' Sensation

In a news item that completely refuses to shake John Terry's hand, we can today bring you news of the latest devastating blow to the career of the former clean-behind-the-ears-nice-boy of the sporting world - Tiger Woods.

As if getting dropped by firms such as Nike, Accenture and Gatoraid were not enough, Melted Felt can sensationally reveal that the Tiger has now been dropped by Phil Ivey too. Yes, dear readers, the poker playing legend has now officially asked his fans to stop referring to him as the 'Tiger Woods of Poker'... and has set a 4-week deadline for being known as 'The Poker Player Formerly Known As The Tiger Woods of Poker' just to be crystal clear...

Ivey had carried the 'Tiger' tag for many years after some 3rd rate journalist or other noticed they shared a broadly similar skin-tone, basketball shaped heads and, erm, were both good at, erm, something sporting-ish. However, with the latest revalations - particularly about Woods' poor ability to avoid trees when driving - Ivey has decided it is time to seek a new comparison in the sporting world.

So, dear readers, we leave it to you to come up with some suggestions, the 'Magic Johnson of poker' does not really fit for someone only 5 feet tall... the 'Babe Ruth of the felt' has a ring to it, but people are just not called 'Babe' these days... we tried the international 'Micheal Schumacher of Poker' but somehow both chalk and cheese keep popping into our head at the same time...

So, answers in a comment please: Phil Ivey is the _________ _______ of Poker.

We'll award the winner a sealion of their choice from any zoo in the fuvking world, or maybe we won't.

MF

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