Monday, 24 May 2010

Party Poker Deny Hitman Vacancy Linked To WSOP For Life Promotion

In a news item which is utterly convinced that Mars bars are smaller than they were when it was young, we bring you some news so shocking, that, well, it can't really be true... or can it (daaaaaaa-da-dooommmbbbb and other atmospheric noises followed by a sudden black cloud obscuring the sun if you p-lease). Yes, dearest Melted Felt readers, your very life may be in danger - and all because of a poker site offering a half-way-decent prize for once.

Party Poker are just about the same size as when they left the US at the end of 2006, totally fishy and quite good fun too... all the Euros together chuckling about how dumb their plays are with each other - rather than berating the main sources of money at their table to make them leave, and thinking how smart they were to have done so - which is all too common at sites open to those *ahem* across the pond.

With the usual promos and bonuses making us yawn, we were actually quite pleased to see that there was a tournament going on offering the lucky winner a seat in the World Series Main event for life... What a nice prize huh? You can even freeroll your way in (if your poor brains can stand the crazy play in those!).

We were going to have a go, and then among the vacancies list for Party's GIB HQ a spot for an experienced hit man popped up, hung around like a bad smell - and then disappeared again. We would not have minded, but the pay actually looked quite good, hours short and the terms and conditions rather flexible.

We immediately phoned the Party hotline which went via the trusty voices in our head and asked whether the winner of this promotion was indeed in mortal danger. The spokesperson 'Shirley Curlywhirly, denied it "Er, well, No' we can exclusively quote her as saying, we asked about the danger of a poisoned Cognac at the Party Poker welcome event, again denied though we did spot a moment of doubt, a suspicious hesitation in the 'I'm not really too sure I get what you mean, can I help you at all?".

Well come off it Ms, Mrs or Miss Shirley Curlywhirly, we have seen almost all the Poirots, several Diagnosis Murders, an entire season and a half of CSI (Miami) and Murder She Wrote, twice... and you are not getting this one by us yoiung or old lady! Melted Felt is determined to stand up for the playaz, the people who pay your wages dont-you-know, we are damn sure that whoever wins this prize will end up 6 feet under and fast... and not only that, we know damn well that it will be Colonel Mustard, in the Drawing Room with the Lead Piping that was responsible.


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