Wednesday, 19 May 2010

Pokerstars Release World Series Satellites Schedule

As the pain of the SCOOP fades in the memories of 1000's of losing poker players just like you, leaving that slight air of confusion as to why you were looking forward to it so much in the first place -we look forward - dear Melted Felt readers - to the glittering lights of Vegas and the World Series of Poker. Stars today produced a couple of sensible looking pages outlining the satellite qualifiers thay they have in plan for this years Main Event. And since we are more than just a shallow and bitter poker satire blog, we felt it was our duty to bring you a quick run-down of what is in store WSOP-wise at the worlds largest poker site.

Firstly here are the options for winning that seat:

$1 hyper-turbo into the $4 Hyper-turbo into the $8.88 turbo rebuy shootout into the $109 hyper-tubo into the $700 qualifier at 3am Tuedsays. Or the 50c hyper-turbo into the $3 hyper-turbo double-shootout into step 3, where you will get called on the bubble by someone with K8 suited because he 'knew you were bluffing'. This leads directly to the $215 hyper turbo into the $1k hyper turbo, giving away 3 and a quarter guaranteed seats. There are also hyper turbo SNGs into the double shootouts into the 4-max hyper turbo qualifiers into step 6, where 5 highstakes pros are waiting oh-so patiently all day every day very much looking forward to sharing your equity, you fvcking fish.

Our favortie path are the 75 FPP hyper turbos into the $3 hyper turbos (with rebuys) with the 2x turbo qualifiers into the $109 hyper turbo rebuy into the $700 qualifiers, in which it is absolutely guaranteed a large stack will give a walk to the guy with 2bbs when folded to in the small blind just when you most needed it.

You could always by in direct to the super-satellites of course, where you'll need a calculator to work out just what the odds were of all 17 players with stacks shorter than yours doubling up on exactly the same hand at the bubble.

This year, Pokerstars are actually trying to get some of their qualifiers to play by threatening to send Negreannu round, no, erm, we meant offering them incentives.

Anyone wearing Pokerstars gear throughout the main event and cashing will get a seat in either the PCA or the North American Poker Tour. We actually preferred the offer of the DAA (duck association of America) who are offering anyone who wears a duck costume throughout the main event a free duck, or maybe not.

MF

PS: If you'd really like to qualify we recommend the comparisons of satellites over at SNG Planet - check out the Best World Series Satellites guide now!

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