Tuesday, 15 June 2010

Shock As WSOP Completely Dull (Again).

Today dearest Melted Felt readers, is time to remind you that the much-anticipated World Series Of Poker has let you down. We know you could not wait, we know you were ticking off the days on the metaphorical calendar until the 'Biggest Poker Event Of the Year' got underway... and we know (oh yes we do) that only those with the mental toughness of stamp-collectors can be really enjoying it so far.

What little news for poker satire blogs to report. Shaun Deeb dressed as a woman - no thanks, though the re-occuring nightmare about the pertness of his breasts is starting to become an inconvienience. Any slight twist might have been satire-worthy, Joe Sebok dressing as a heterosexual, Phil Helmuth clothed as the mutton rather than the lamb... thats the kind of thing we were looking for.

A French lady winning a bracelet? Meh, the mind instantly wandered to how she managed to win the Ladies event without folding a single hand. Jokes about munching garlic during play, or those infamous hairy French armpits sprang to mind... they just seemed so banal this time, even their famed surrendering in every war or conflict ever entered did not get the cutting remarks flowing.

Dwan coming second almost made news, by almost bankrupting half of the online poker community who invested in his prop bets... the only 'community' are of course rejoycing, as several of their number hit final tables in the big events. The fact that nobody had heard of the vast majority of them before their score and is unlikely to ever hear of them again afterwards no reason at all not to shorten their names, add 'ey' to the end and pretend it was your best forum buddy ever who just took the bronze medal.

We'll leave you to it dearest Melted Felt readers, you know that the Main Event will be the most exciting thing ever, chip counts, lists of names who got busted, unknowns at the top of the leaderboards and even a known pro or two in the top 30. In the meantime we'll leave you with an interesting mathematical fact, more than 2/3rds of you will have given up online poker completely by the time the 2011 WSOP comes along... oh yes you will!


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